All this has brought to mind the idea of getting old, dying. My Father-in-Law refuses to learn computers or any form of technology at the age of 83. Am I better than he? Well, yes, but only a little in that I do use a cell phone. BUT I still have to learn all the features of my Blackberry because quite frankly, I am squandering its potential. Until my My Mom-in-Law died earlier this year, we could at least still get hold of them both on a cell phone. Now my Father-in-Law has even declared that redundant. But he manages a portable phone and knows just how to find Sky News and golden oldie soundtracks on DSTV. He is happy with that.
But as I stagnate, and start to realise that I am entering the latter years of my life and no longer have the luxury of tomorrow being another day, I reflect on what is important. As I stared at Mary's coffin in the chapel, I wondered for a fleeting moment at the fulity of this thing we call life. But as my little boy nudged me and whispered something in my ear, it is as I turned to look into his young face that I am reminded of the legacies we leave, the purpose of it all. Why we are here at all.
Yes, technology is important in all of this purpose. It helps to keep up with today's generation, 'chat' more with friends anywhere, make the world a smaller, more accessible space, so we can experience life more and expand the time that is allowed us. That is a good enough reason to 'get with the technological programme!'
But is odd how a theme can resonate for a a while and there is synchronicity all around. Life and technology - two things that would not seamlessly coincide in a topic for a blog discussion. But here I am, engaging with the possibilities.
Recently, my friend Anne-Marie and I had a discussion about illness and getting old. We commented on the bad news we keep hearing - Anne-Marie has been losing friends and it is reminding her harshly of her own mortality. At 63 she is suddenly getting conscious that she is far too regularly saying goodbye to friends. As she mentions this to me, I am conscious that I have taken it for granted that she will outlive me. I never think of her as 20 years older than I. She is young in all she does - she has a zest for everything she does. She travels widely, laps us every experience, applies her wisdom and creativity in all aspects of her life.
I don't think it matters what age you are - one can always feel vulnerable at the fragility of life. Presently, it visits me often. My Mom is very ill and everyday we all, as a family, side-step the dance with the shadow of death. My brother recently had a brush with some very risky surgery again. Once again, we entertain the road of 'what if?' But I am learning that it is engaging with those deeper questions, embracing them, that we really live and feel things. We don't know what tomorrow brings but each day we live with a mission and purpose, not engaging for too long with that sense of futility as we accept the precious gift of time we have been given today.
But in all of this, Anne-Marie and I also laugh as we understand that this is a very important part of the recipe of life. What else can we do? Life and death are seasons of everyone's life. So I think it was in this spirit, tinged with a moment of subconscious desperation that Anne-Marie tried to reconnect with her childhood the other day. She seemed to think that one of the rugs in her house would serve well in rendering a magic carpet ride. She slipped onto her guava and apparently just laughed hysterically. After ascertaining that there were no injuries, her husband, David, commented on what a circus the household is! Upon hearing her story, I expressed my gratitude that at 63, her hips are still very firm because neither of us are ready for her to have any hip replacements. I am just so sorry that the carpet did not take to magical flight though. Now what a story that would be to tell. But I kid myself, we take magical carpet rides every day. It is only Anne-Marie that gives due diligence to taking it on literally though! I did mention she has great zest in all she does. Not sure where the wisdom slipped away to on this one though!
My little boy has quite a take on old age and dying.
A few weekends ago, after our attempt at a steam train ride (the train ran out of steam), he came home and built intricate bridges and stations with his Thomas the Tank Engine set. I can still barely walk across his bedroom floor for all the cities and villages and airports he has built. But he has great fun and that is what counts. I may indeed need to get a magic carpet just to access his bedroom.
Anyway, he asked me to come and have a look at what he had made. I commented on what a great job it was, but then also asked him why he had a heap of trains to one side stacked on top of each other with wheels in air etc. Included in this was the Greendale Rocket from Postman Pat. His response was “they are going to be scrapped, Mommy.”
“Oh no, surely not the Greendale Rocket, he is my favourite,” I say.
“But Mommy, you know he is old. A bit like Nana Mary (my Mom-in-law) when she was old. So now we need to scrap him.”
I honestly did not know what to say although I relayed the story to Gavin and we had a laugh. I promise, there was no influence from our side. Anyway, later he came into the room, apparently rather sensitive to my need not to scrap the Greendale Rocket. . .”Okay Mommy, I have decided to use the Greendale Rocket as a museum restaurant and a toy shop at the station. Is that better?”
So now we know what happens to old people and trains. . .
Poor Nana Mary. But I am sure even she would laugh at Tristan's take on this. So between Anne-Marie and I, one of our great themes lately is how to avoid the scrap yard. Well, she has decided it is time to go back to school - she has boldly enrolled for an MA in Creative Writing at Rhodes Univeristy for next year. Way to go, bon amie, I think. She will do well as she is already a great writer and I think will love the youthful student sentiment and journey she derives from it too. 'But I have not even been accepted yet,' she protests, as I discuss with her in way that assumes this is a foregone conclusion. For me it is, her road is already mapped. And how exciting to have a new journey of discovery as we start out each new year, without any thought of age, potential ailments and life's fragility. We forge on in spite of it.
As for me, I have enrolled with the SA Writer's College for an online novel writing course. I have also become determined to get technologically prone and avoid being scrapped due to redundancy in this area - I do believe my husband would indeed scrap me for this reason alone, as he gets frustrated that I don't approach technology with the ease he does.
My new formula for life. . .
New challenges + new thinking + new achievements + lots of laughter even in the most serious of moments = avoiding the scrap yard.
I hope to share again very soon any new tips I acquire in avoiding the scrap yard. Any further tips from you would be most appreciated!
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